Posted on April 1st, 2026

Dealing with a high-conflict co-parent or ex can be overwhelming, and it often sends your nervous system into a fight-or-flight state. To stay grounded, try these 4 tools.

1. Start with deep breathing: inhale slowly for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. Repeat several times. This simple pattern calms your body.

2.Progressive muscle relaxation—tense each muscle group for a few seconds, then release them, which helps release physical tension. Even shaking your arms or hands- like you are shaking something off, can help to release built up anxiety.

3.Visualization is another powerful tool—picture yourself in a peaceful place, like a beach or a garden- whatever place it is for you that brings you peace and calm. A happy memory is another great visualization to hold. Remember that feeling and feel it again.

4. Finally, reframe your thoughts—when you feel triggered, remind yourself, “I am in control of my response.” Remembering that often-times a reaction is exactly what the high-conflict person is trying to get from you.

These strategies, practiced regularly, help you stay centered so you can navigate conflict with clarity and calm.

If you'd like to learn more strategies on regulating your nervous system when dealing with an HCI, book an appointment with me.